l.i.b.e.r.a.t.i.o.n. theory

love, life, and the pursuit of liberation

fail #4

doesn’t matter b/c i knew it anyway. i’m just upset because i had a 2 hour window when i thought i was. i took a clearblue digital that said “not pregnant” but upon opening it up, there was the infamous ghost second line. A got all excited and hugged me, and for a minute i felt.. i don’t know.. good enough. but i also knew better than to get my hopes up. so we went out to get dinner and more tests. i’m glad i was playing it safe because when we got home, i looked up the second line on clearblue tests and saw that it was due to LH and had nothing to do whatsoever with being pregnant. and 2 more pregnancy tests confirmed that i’m not.

because i’m going to be going to school next fall, i can’t continue this indefinitely. there’s no way i can deliver next september if i’m to start grad school in sept. so by my calculations, i have about 3 more tries.

please, don’t leave the “there’s hope,” or “wait until your period shows,” or “maybe you tested too early” comments. i’m sorry, but i don’t believe any of them.


the beauty of it all is that all the pms symptoms have hit me today full force– burning nips, horrible headache (that’s a new one for this month, yay! and nausea (also new). i feel like i won a prize. i’m wondering if the headache and nausea are because i haven’t had enough water. i thought i was drinking enough but i feel positively sick to my stomach today.

fuck that. i’m going shopping.


9 comments on “fail #4

  1. LJ
    August 23, 2008



  2. mulberry
    August 23, 2008



  3. reproducinggenius
    August 23, 2008

    Forget those other “hopeful” comments. This just plain sucks, and I’m so sorry. It never gets any easier.


  4. Gia
    August 23, 2008



  5. NappiBlues
    August 23, 2008



  6. laniza
    August 23, 2008



  7. Chelci (MNC from NP)
    August 23, 2008

    *Hugs* Girlfriend!


  8. Tosha
    August 24, 2008

    I too don’t want to hear those things from people, it doesn’t help. I just wish I was there to give you a hug. I know I could use one.


  9. sarah at notesfrom2moms
    August 25, 2008

    a great big hug.


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This entry was posted on August 23, 2008 by in Uncategorized and tagged .

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