l.i.b.e.r.a.t.i.o.n. theory

love, life, and the pursuit of liberation

my confirmation

this has been a long, emotional journey for me. needless to say, this weekend, i was ready to give up. after a very good heart to heart with my wife, i was able to admit how stressed out i’ve been over these past few months with work and our relationship. i was chatting with a friend and even she said that didn’t recognize me because i’m not my usual happy, spiritual self. i’ve spoken about in the previous blogs, but i’m sure this is the reason why i’m not getting pregnant. my wife confirmed the same thing for me.

as i was on hold with the RE this morning, their hold message is about how stress effects fertility. so that was the confirmation i needed. i’m going to start meditating again today, start my writing, and i’m scheduling a massage AND accupuncture. dear god, i hope this makes me feel sane again and makes me happy again.

sorry this message is so vague. i’m at work and am trying to dash off a few lines before my next class comes.


7 comments on “my confirmation

  1. j. k-c.
    October 27, 2008

    I’m glad you are talking about it and getting support. I started acupuncture because I wanted to do something good for me in the midst of the crazy TTC process. I didn’t even pick an acupuncturist who specializes in fertility issues, because that wasn’t my main focus of going. I mean I knew it might not hurt in that department…but it was really about self care.
    I can’t tell you how invaluable this was. I felt so much more balanced and sane, almost instantly. And I got my BFP about 4 weeks later. 🙂


  2. Lisa
    October 27, 2008

    Glad that you are taking care of yourself. If you don’t mind sharing, what’s the plan? Are you going to do IUI’s with the doc?


  3. indigoscot
    October 27, 2008

    i totally advocate massage, acupuncture and yoga to get you unstressed and back on an even keel. ttc was stressful for me and i already had a stressful job. the combo of those 3 items plus ditching the basal thermometer worked wonders…and we got our bfp the next cycle. good luck!


  4. halfadozen
    October 28, 2008

    Its a great idea to de-stress for lots of reasons… The TTC process can be soul-sucking for sure. It takes usch a toll on our sense of selves, our trust in our bodies, and our relationships with our spouses. Just don’t feel responsible for your BFP’s. I know I do it too, but its not fair to yourself. we have no control over the TTC outcome. Sure, its best to prime our minds and bodies and be in the best place possible. But, being stressed will not necessarily stop you from getting pregnant. TTC can be a long journey for no good reason. Het couples with great-looking fertility can take years to conceieve and lots of very stressed women in countries with extreme violence, poverty etc… get pregnant all the time.

    Because of how much work it is for us to line up donors and how planned TTC is, we feel like we can somehow, if we do the right things, make it happen. But of course we can’t. But wouldn’t life be so much easier if we could?

    I send big hugs from here. Three cheers for taking care of oneself… ( I don;t know what I would do without my massage therapist and my accupuncturist!)


  5. reproducinggenius
    October 28, 2008

    This process really can change us in such drastic ways that we begin not to recognize ourselves. It is so important to find oneself again, to be able to destress and live a normal life (which seems almost impossible while TTC).

    I’m so sorry this month was negative, but I’m so very glad that you are discovering what you need to destress and come back to yourself.


  6. moe moe
    October 28, 2008

    do you think you had to admit you were stressed out to us ?

    i knew you were stressed out months ago that why i have been praying for asking that you find some peace so things can fall in there place. some one said this around me the other day and i had to stop and think “worrying is a sin. do you want to know why ? because the lord will solve all the thing you think are problems if you just ask him to, so you should not worry about it. if you do spend time worrying it mean you are not letting God in to your life the way you should”

    so with that said i here by order you to ask God to do what he thinks is right for you. now the hard part is accepting if what God want even if its not what you want.

    I leave you with Peace and Harmony


  7. poppycat
    October 28, 2008

    I am so tired of everyone telling women who are ttc that it will happen if they just stop worrying. Listen, worrying and stress are bad for you psychologically and physiologically but studies show that your stress or worry alone will not keep you from becoming pregnant. Women do become pregnant all the time under immense and seemingly unbearable amounts of stress. Those pregnancies often have complications due to the effects of continued stress on the mother but DO NOT think for a moment that it’s your stress keeping you from becoming pregnant – that will lead to more stress.
    Instead, know that this IS going to happen for you on the time line that is right for your body. De-stress because it is the right thing to do for you, because you deserve it, because it’s not doing you any good, because it will keep you from enjoying the beauty of each day, but not because you think it could be the reason you aren’t becoming pregnant. This is a journey and you will grow to be a more whole person because of it so try to relax and enjoy.
    PS… now i am going to try to put some of my own advise to practice 😉 Easier said than done right?


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This entry was posted on October 27, 2008 by in happiness, Uncategorized and tagged .

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