l.i.b.e.r.a.t.i.o.n. theory

love, life, and the pursuit of liberation

getting ready for losing “weight”

yes i’m trying to get rid of a few pounds, but i’m also going to be getting rid of some of the other types of weight around here. and if it involves you, don’t take it personal– it’s really about ME.

since i’m no longer ttc (please dont twist my words to lecture me about the fact that i’m going to be a mom.. i do know that very much) i don’t really see the point in participating in a lot of ttc threads and blogs. there are few that i still identify with because of the person behind the blog and that i appreciate that they share things that are more than just ttc. but i am starting to feel that perhaps this whole ttc blogland has become this one big competition that goes something like this:

stage 1– yay i’m starting to ttc and i hope i get pregnant the first month

stage 2– well it’s been a few months and i need to try this new herbal remedy or acupuncture or _______________ (insert eastern remedy here)

stage 3– it’s not working yet. 

stage 4– i hate all pregnant people and hetties. looking for commiseration and time to clear my blogroll.

stage 5– either stop trying, take a break, or go to the RE. (if you don’t have the funds, it pretty much stops here)

stage 6– i’m going to try this and that new medical procedure and try to have my baby

stage 7- i hate all pregnant people and hetties. woe is me

now i’m not gonna front like i haven’t been all funky about not being able to conceive. but at the end of the day, it doesnt define me. i’m more than my ability to have a baby in the womb. it doesnt dictate whether or not i can be a mother. it doesnt dictate how much worth i have as a human being. 

so all that to say is that i need to lose a little “weight” around here because the energy of ttc blogland is messing up my chi.

 

*disclaimer* this is in response to a variety of blogs, some listed and some not. so don’t think i’m trying to talk about one particular person.

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2 comments on “getting ready for losing “weight”

  1. Lisa
    December 20, 2008

    Sorry to see you go. I fully understand. I wish you well. Lisa

    Like

  2. Monika "paradisebird"
    December 29, 2008

    Warning, this will be a long comment!
    Dear liberationtheory,

    first excuse my bad english, it is not my first language (german is) and allow me to de-lurk.. I am following your blog for about five months by now and i like it very much. i am (not in this order but it pretty much sums up who i am and why it took me so long to de-lurk…) 39, born in germnay as the daughter of a congolesian father and a german mother,have foster parents, ttc for …ages, it seemed, a nurse, a wife ( i am sorry , i am not so familiar with the correct terms so i think hettie means heterosexual, what i am, if i use use terms incorrect i`apologize) , a friend, an aunt, a sister….and much more.
    unfortunately i lost many of the “i am`s” on my ttc journey. 12 years are a long time…;-).
    when i read this post i cried. cried for the years being tied to a wish, cried for my unability to deal with ttc and everythings that comes with this, cried for the children i lost (again!), crid for all and for nothing.
    wiped my eyes and my nose and read your post again. i do not exactly konw what happend then but i felt lighter afterwards. just reading it has lifted tons from my shoulders and i was thinking if she can do it i also can. thank you for this act of liberation. for me it was a complete change in what i focus and it was a good change. i do not know to what this will lead me but i know for sure that i haven`t felt this lightness for ages. also to learn the difference of ttc and being a mother and recognizing that there is a difference was so important.
    so i hope i have not offended you with this comment , thi is not my intention. i was so moved by your words that i just have to write this down.
    Thank you so much and i wish you all the best.
    Mo.

    Like

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This entry was posted on December 20, 2008 by in blogs, identity, ttc, Uncategorized and tagged .

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