l.i.b.e.r.a.t.i.o.n. theory

love, life, and the pursuit of liberation

introducing little A

the newest member to the A family. yes her name starts with an A too.

here’s her brief birth story that some of you know if you’ve been following twitter.

A started early labor Saturday morning at 8 am, which was coincidently the due date. Later that evening she felt they had changed so she called for our doula. We went to the birthing center about 4 am Sunday morning only to be sent home because she was dilated 1-2.

The doula went home to rest and we headed back home with instructions to drink some wine. We stopped at Whataburger and had some Patron when we got home, thinking that would work better. It didn’t. I pulled out some Ethiopian honey wine around 8 and A drank that and slept wonderfully, except for the 5 minute apart contractions.

Around noon her contractions changed and she was grunting through exhausting contractions that were about 3 minutes in length and only 5 minutes start to start. So that meant only 2 minute rest time. We called midwife and doula and head back around 1:30 pm. We get there and learn she’s fully effaced and dilated at 3. We’re instructed to walk the park across the street or go home. We chose the park. Several people stopped to ask if we were okay. I guess the sight of a very pregnant black woman hugging the curb and grunting isn’t common.

We have to wait a couple more hours (midwife went to teach a yoga class) and find out that she’s now at 5+. Later on around 9 pm, we find out that A is 9.5 dilated, meaning almost 10 but there’s a “lip” of cervix all around. After a lot of pushing and the midwife trying to push the cervix away, she decides to break the water bag. By this point, A is in transition labor and each contraction is sending her reeling. But she was AMAZING. I could NOT have done it. We try shower, bath, all kinds of things and 6 hours latr, we’re in the same place. Yes, 6 hours of excruciating transition labor.

Finally at 3-4 am, we’ve done everything and I damn near cuss out the midwife for putting my wife through all the bullshit of “this is the last time you’re pushing, the baby is coming out with this set.” We transfer to the hospital and they are very welcoming of us as a gay couple, even allowing me to be listed as “spouse.” We get upstairs and the transfer doctor confirms that the lip is still there and Pepita is not coming down. She’s at station -1. At this point, we learn a vaginal birth isn’t possible and A feels confident that she’s done all that she could and concedes to a c-section. Again, I’m astonished by her strength.

The doula is exhausted, as am I, and she heads home. Just as she leaves, there seems to be a code alarm coming from the OR and I realize that something’s wrong with either A or Pepita and no one will tell me anything. I start to panic and break down, so I call the doula back who turns around and comes back to be with me. All I know is that they’re bringing in cardiac and respiratory people, the staff from the nursery and there are alarms and people running.

Finally, they allow me to come back and tell me that Pepita’s heart rate and dropped dangerously (from 150s down to 60s and falling) because she had swallowed a lot of meconium. They suck out 4 oz of it and then she is fine. I see that my beautiful baby is a girl and they allow me to go back to the nursery with her while Mom is being stitched up. She was born at 7:20 am CST, March 16, 2009 (that’s 47.5 hours of labor if you do the math), weighing 7 pounds 15.8 ounces, stretching 20.5 inches long.

So that’s the birth story in a nutshell. Currently, I’m at the hospital while A and A sleep. She is so alert and beautiful, and I’m honored to be her mother and A’s wife.

I will blog later about my thoughts and emotions surrounding all of this..


27 comments on “introducing little A

  1. rashea
    March 16, 2009

    hey lib. what a amazing birth story. i’m really happy for the two of you and am glad everything is ok. you guys are officially a family. congrats girl. don’t forget how amazing you are too for being there for giggle..for being strong for her when she needed you. enjoy each other. take care.


  2. Lisa
    March 16, 2009

    What a memorable (and scary) entrance. Glad all’s well now. Hope you’re getting some much-deserved rest; I can just imagine how frightening that time at the hospital must’ve been.

    By the way, you did right by Pepita starting her off with a Whataburger.

    Hugs to you. Please give A a hug from me, too, and kiss that sweet baby.


  3. fefestyle
    March 16, 2009

    Congrats, again sweetie!


  4. bernag06
    March 16, 2009

    I’m so happy baby and mommys are doing well! Congrats, I can’t wait to hear more 🙂


  5. Thorn
    March 16, 2009

    Welcome, PepitA! I’m glad to hear that she and her moms are doing well. Good luck to all of you!


  6. Rachel
    March 16, 2009

    I am so thrilled for you all! And so happy Pepita is doing fine after her dramatic entrance into the world!


  7. R
    March 16, 2009

    YEAH!! Welcome Pepita!!! 🙂


  8. poetrystruth
    March 16, 2009

    Congrats! Happy to know everyone is safe and healthy!


  9. VinyRenee
    March 16, 2009

    Excellent update. Glad all is well with all of you. Beautiful.


  10. Lisa
    March 16, 2009



  11. Jess
    March 17, 2009

    Aww, Congratulations both of you!! I’m so glad everything turned out ok and everyone’s doing great!!!
    Thanks for the birth story!


  12. Clark
    March 17, 2009

    Welcome Pepita and congratulations mommies! Glad to hear that you’re all doing well despite the turmoil.


  13. heidi
    March 17, 2009

    Welcome baby A!!! Congrats to her wonderful mommies!!

    All my love


  14. JustAnotherJenny
    March 17, 2009

    Congratulations! Welcome to the world little A!


  15. j. k-c.
    March 17, 2009

    Congrats and Welcome Little A! Great story, brought me to tears. I’m glad all are doing well now!


  16. Gia
    March 17, 2009

    ohhh i can’t wait to see pics!!!


  17. Meredith
    March 17, 2009

    Absolutely amazing! May she be strong and smart. Congrats!


  18. poppycat
    March 18, 2009

    Many hugs to all three of you. Your family is amazing and you all did a great job. You must be so proud.

    She is absolutly beautiful! Congrats.


  19. Monika
    March 19, 2009

    A girl, or as we say over her: “ein Mädchen”. All the best for the three of you. she is soooo beautiful. I Hope your wife will be fine soon. i am very touched by your wonderful birth story.

    luv Monika


  20. Andrea
    March 24, 2009

    Congratulations to you both!


  21. lifeAgift
    March 28, 2009


    I hadn’t been keeping up as I ought too.

    Looking forward to pics.

    Blessing and Bliss for you all, ALWAYS!


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  25. Shaq Diesel!
    April 20, 2013

    Goodness gracious! I honestly never read this story. It’s exhausting reading it now, even after all these years. Gosh…but look how worth it was? Kids are truly a blessing.


    • liberationtheory
      April 20, 2013

      She truly is. The only thing I regret is that I delete the twitter account where I did a play by play live update during the whole thing. That would be so cool to have now.


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This entry was posted on March 16, 2009 by in birth story, pepita, Uncategorized and tagged .

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