love, life, and the pursuit of liberation
moving always feels like a chance to purge oneself and become clear about the things that matter.
as much as i dread packing boxes, i love the opportunity to declutter and scale back. i’ve lived in 7 different towns (not even counting the annual moving out of the dorms) and each time i had to really consider what’s essential and what is just junk taking up space.
as i get ready to move (back for the 3rd time) to new york, i’m returning new in so many ways. i’m a new mother, i’m a fairly new wife, i will be a new student, and hopefully i’m a new (or at least improved) person. i feel myself finally ready to return to some of the things that has worked for me– being around like minded people who intellectually and spiritually stimulate me. i’m also realizing that some of my “ways” from the past just take up psychic space. i’m sitting here cleaning out my old ibook to sell it and it’s pretty dirty, quite frankly (cat hair, dust, etc). i’m in awe that i used to treat my things this way- so careless, so half-hazardly. i know it’s one of the things that A gets/has gotten so annoyed with, but i couldnt see it for myself until i saw my mother/family interact with their things and in my home. it wasn’t until therapy (thank god for jackie!) that i realize how much stress i create for myself by just holding onto JUNK habits.
i’m far from perfect but i am so grateful that i see a better vision of what i want for myself. i also see how far i’ve common and possibility for more.