love, life, and the pursuit of liberation
i feel like i’m finally a mother. i wrote a post on mother’s day that i never finished talking about how i didnt feel as connected to LA because by the time i got home in the evening, she was getting ready to bed. she was also exclusively breastfed, so more days than not, i just felt like i was interrupting the flow of things when i came home.
now, the tables have completely changed. due to A’s hectic schedule with training for her new career (not sure if she blogged about it so i dont wanna tell all her business!), i have LA most of the time, including evenings and weekends. her mommy leaves at 6:15 in the morning, returns around 5 pm, then has to leave again or do other work at 7 pm, often into the wee hours of the morning. on the weekends, she’s working at least one full day getting prepped for the coming week. so i get to experience the everyday joys that’s mommy hood (no i’m not being sarcastic).
the way my daughter has grown already continues to astound me- she’s not this little thing that could be contented by a swing or a walk around the living room. oh no, little miss thing likes to bounce, laugh, play, grab at any object within her reach, play in her jumperoo, eat any toy (or bib or paci) that comes close, and fake crawl. yes, she’s trying to crawl using her head to propel her.
i just don’t know where the time has gone, and i know it’s only the beginning.
i’m contemplating whether or not i will return to work in the fall, even part time because on one hand, we can use the money and i can use some non-mommy time. but on the other hand, the thought of someone else caring for our daughter is nerve-wracking. decisions, decisions.
in the meantime, if any of you all want pictures, please send an email. i would rather not post them here.