love, life, and the pursuit of liberation
I’ve been working on being more open to my relationship with God– to stop overthinking it and letting go of the mental rules and parameters I’ve put on myself. Instead, I’ve just trying to be open and do what feels right.
This morning, A shared an incident that happened at work and I responded in a less than sensitive way. She went to take LA shopping to give me time to work on another paper, and I headed out to Sbux to get some liquid fuel. The desk attendant downstairs stopped me to tell me that A was very upset when she left the building. I thanked her and then started getting mad that she was so sensitive. I called and left a message for her to call me. Then my phone battery died, and I got mad again, but then remembered that there is no such thing as coincidence and God must have a reason for me not being able to use it.
On the way to and from Sbux, I practiced what I was going to say to her and prayed for direction and for God to give me the words to say. I know that too many times I say things the wrong way which just escalates issues. I was a bit embarrassed about having to see the desk attendant again but I sucked it up and thanked her for letting me know that she was upset. She told me that sometimes people get upset and just need a touch or an apology so that they can release that anger. She said that sometimes she pushes her husband’s buttons and have to put her pride to the side and apologize. I almost cried on the spot (still tearing) because that’s JUST what I needed to hear. *I* was the one at fault for pushing an obvious button and *I* was the one that needed to be humble and apologize. It was the answer the very prayer that I had just made.
I followed her advice and I know A and I are the better for it. I have to remember that I’m not always right and can stand to practice humility and love.
I’m so amazed at the power of prayer and am humbly grateful for it.
Now, back to this paper. Anyone want to write a section about New York City’s Absent Teacher Reserve and the theoretical power debates behind the union and state involvement? It only has to be 20 pages and if I can get 3 volunteers, we can bust it out today!!!!!