love, life, and the pursuit of liberation
My wife sent me this video today, and I died laughing, not only because it was so funny but because it really spoke to the position that I find myself.
I find myself straddling that fence of indulgence and responsibility. One side of the fence is all about wanting to have fun now that I have the stability to do it and doing all the things I never would allow myself before. I never really dated casually or did many of the *single* life things because I was too busy trying to play house with people that didn’t deserve that effort. I feel like the sole effort of my 20s was trying to establish stability. Now I want to go out, buy nice clothes, get the fly car, travel more, etc. But my responsibilities are preventing many of that. Refusing to get a mini-van was my last hope of escaping the “adult” trap.
But now that I’m “grown,” I feel myself sliding over to the other side of the fence– the 30something, educated, middle class mom complete with parenting books, cloth diapers, and “passion” degrees (as A calls many liberal arts programs that are not as “practical”). I feel like I am giving our child the life I want her to have, and it is starkly different (not intentionally) from what the model that was present when I was young. When I’m 40, I’ll have a 3rd grader and maybe another 1 or 2 younger kids. When my mom was 40, I was graduating college and there were 4 more younger siblings. My mom was just beginning to establish the life she wants.
It’s been such a journey to figure out “my place” in all of this– social class, parenting, generational norms, and age amongst many of the dynamic spheres. I suspect I’m not the only 30something that is dealing with all of this. Whoever came up with this marketing for Toyota deserves a raise AND an award because it is “spot on” (as the wife says) and is pure genius.
Oh, and yes it helps me come to terms with accepting that I’ll have a mini-van. As long as I can call it my Swagger Wagon.