love, life, and the pursuit of liberation
Today is simply not my day. I’m having one of those woe is me and I suck kind of days. I’m trying really, really hard not to let it sink in, but I feel the bitterness overtaking me. I can only think of reasons why I suck
I didn’t get the job I really, really wanted. People say that it wasn’t meant for me, but how do I get all the way to the last round- 5 hour job simulation and all- and then not get it. I got some generic ass letter today, a week after they said they would let me know.
On try #10 now. I’m in double digits. Enough said about that.
My current job contract ends in 5 weeks and I’m panicking about that.
I feel like the only thing I can do is teach, and I really don’t want to, but every time I venture trying to leave, circumstances bring me right back. Right now, the job market for teachers sucks too. I’m scared.
I am not as understanding or supportive or forgiving in my relationship as I should be. Enough said about that one too.
I suck at managing money and self-sabotage.
I’m simply exhausted and want some kind of confirmation that I can be successful at something because right now, shit looks pretty gloomy.
And to top it off, I spilled a greasy burrito on my shirt so I’m walking around looking extra crappy. At least I finally got instructors approval for a class I really want/need to take for Summer Term 1. Oh, and my co-teacher says she’ll go for drinks with me after work. I probably shouldn’t drink since I’m ttc but I really doubt it’ll make a difference at this point. My stupid-ass cousin just lost her 4th baby because she decided she didn’t really want it and went on a crack and pill binge 2 days before the baby was due. She’s already lost custody of all her other kids. So if she can do all that, still manage to get pregnant and everything, I doubt one margarita will make a difference.