l.i.b.e.r.a.t.i.o.n. theory

love, life, and the pursuit of liberation

down but not out

I took a digital test this morning only because it was all that I had left. Actually, I woke up at 4 am and had this huge internal debate about whether I should test at all. I had to pee but didn’t know what to do.

Well, I was greeted with “Not Pregnant.”

So that’s that. I’ll still go in tomorrow for my beta so I can get the official okay to come off the progesterone. AF should show up a few days after the progesterone stops.

Feelings? Shrug. There were no shed tears or much disappointment.It happens. It happens alot.  #12* is down in the books. I’ll have to meet with my RE at some point to discuss when I should try again.

Thanks for playing the liberationtheory ttc game.

*For some reason, I kept thinking this was try #13 until I went to update my baby-making timeline and realized that it was #12. I guess I still have a chance for lucky 13.


7 comments on “down but not out

  1. rachelbk
    December 17, 2010



  2. PoetrysTruth
    December 17, 2010

    Booooo! That sucks. (((HUGS)))


  3. Corey
    December 17, 2010

    Oh Lovey.

    I am sorry. Fuck.

    Be gentle with yourself this weekend. Be careful with your heart. Let yourself grieve. Know that you are loved.


  4. Monika
    December 18, 2010

    Damn. This feels sad.
    Whatever you do now….please be extremly gentle with yourself.
    You have handled all this with grace, immense strenghth and love…not knowing how the outcome will be. You derserve some l.u.x.u.r.y. treatment, if possible.


  5. black muse
    December 18, 2010

    Take care of yourself. I’m still sending positivity and peace your way. And yes, please be gentle with yourself.


  6. halfadozen
    December 18, 2010

    I am so so terribly sorry. I know your pain. I send you big healing vibes from here…


  7. Pomegranate
    December 20, 2010

    i am so sorry.

    the pain of a failed IVF is truly in a class of it’s own. you see everyone else succeed with the magic cure for IF and descend into this dark place on the wrong side of that 60% success rate.

    just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone, and that there is light on the other side.


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This entry was posted on December 17, 2010 by in infertility/ttc and tagged .

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