love, life, and the pursuit of liberation
This morning I went and gave TWENTY vials of blood for my thrombophilia test. In short, it’s a test to determine if I have a clotting disorder that might shed light into my challenges with conception.
Or it might not.
As I sit back and watch “Eat Pray Love” I wonder if it’s possible to have peace with infertility while trying to conceive. This process is a crash course in how to pull out all your naked fears and have them rawly exposed. Yet, we are masochists of sort and can’t. stop. trying.
But is there another way? Is there a way to make peace with knowing that you know nothing? And that trying is really do or don’t? That you have little control and will have to adapt with whatever the result is?
I’m not sure what that looks like but I’d sure like to know.