l.i.b.e.r.a.t.i.o.n. theory

love, life, and the pursuit of liberation

I’ve decided

I’ve decided.

With this cycle, I’m not going to have it all figured out. I’m not going to pretend that I’m pregnant until proven otherwise. I’m not going to be overly pessimistic. I’m not going to make declarations about my chances. I’m not going to read into things. I’m going to practice being in the moment and accepting that it’s 100% in God’s hands. I will not think if I do xyz then xyz will happen. I will honor my body bc it deserves it regardless of my fertility status. I will rest my mind because I deserve to be in peace. I may cry and I may get sad and I may mourn. And I’ll accept that those are my feelings and I’ll be present knowing they are how i feel at the moment and doesnt have to be an indictment on my womanhood or my future or my blessings.

I am praying that this cycle is one of peace.

FYI- I’m doing iui bc i didn’t start suppression on time. I haven’t discussed with RE yet but I will on CD 3.

FYI2- I’ll be using a new donor.

FYI3- I have no pregnancy tests in the house and won’t by any, especially since you can’t use flex spending on them anymore.

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7 comments on “I’ve decided

  1. isa
    February 22, 2011

    I think this is a great way to go into it–calm, collected, ready for whatever comes. I hope that it’s a peaceful, successful cycle for you!

    Like

  2. rachelbk
    February 22, 2011

    I wish you peace, hope and success from the bottom of my heart.

    Like

  3. Pingback: Tweets that mention I’ve decided « l.i.b.e.r.a.t.i.o.n. theory -- Topsy.com

  4. VinyRenee
    February 23, 2011

    Praying with and for you…

    Like

  5. serendipitie
    February 23, 2011

    I love this. Thank you IVF Jess for retweeting your blog! Good luck this cycle, I will be thinking of you.

    Like

  6. liberationtheory
    February 23, 2011

    Thank you everybody. I’m vowing to hold on to this peace so feel free to remind me when I stray!

    @serendipitie, thanks for reading and welcome to liberationtheory!

    Like

  7. Autumn
    February 24, 2011

    I love this. You are not your fertility status. You are a beautiful, inspirational woman of action. I hope you know this.

    Always wishing you peace.

    Like

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This entry was posted on February 22, 2011 by in infertility/ttc and tagged .

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