l.i.b.e.r.a.t.i.o.n. theory

love, life, and the pursuit of liberation

Answering my own questions

I still believe that God’s divine plan is in control.

And I’m still struggling with fear.

I need to get an endometrium biopsy done as well as another hsg before they’ll allow me to do another IVF. I’ve been dragging my feet with getting them done because I’m just apprehensive that it will all be for naught. That even after all that, I won’t be pregnant. And on top of that, I’m nervous about taking time off work. My job isn’t a very family friendly place and I have to schedule my own coverage when I’m out. For example, today I have a 103 fever and LA has 101. Still, I had to call fellow teachers and ask if they’ll cover my classes because there are no substitutes in our building or network. Also most teachers are young twenty somethings that aren’t obligated to anyone outside of themselves and their jobs, so the time commitment isn’t the same for them.

Pause.

The more I type this, the more I’m getting on my own nerves with the whining. Something will work out because it always does. I’m gonna pray on it and step back. I will not allow fear to immobilize me.

So thanks for riding this pity party with me. The bus is back at the station.

photo courtesy of http://eclipseoftheheartgirl.blogspot.com/

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4 comments on “Answering my own questions

  1. Kristina Kent
    March 14, 2011

    Sometimes you have to let yourself get a little whiny to put everything in perspective. 🙂

    Like

  2. halfadozen
    March 15, 2011

    I know how hard it to take those next steps and I know the fear. Only too well. Hugs. Lots of ’em.

    Like

  3. autumn
    March 15, 2011

    I hope you and bean are doing better today.

    Like

  4. weddedwife
    March 16, 2011

    We all need room to let go and vent it out. I hope you feel better soon

    Like

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This entry was posted on March 14, 2011 by in faith and spirituality, infertility/ttc and tagged .

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