l.i.b.e.r.a.t.i.o.n. theory

love, life, and the pursuit of liberation

bittersweet

I told my wife this morning that this is it for me. I don’t know why but I felt incredibly guilty/selfish, like I making her do something she may not want (be pregnant again). But at the same time, I am emotionally spent and just want another child, even if it’s not through me. I’m willing to do frozen transfers if 1) this cycle doesn’t work and 2) if there are embryos that make it to freeze. But I think this may be it.

As much as I’m okay with that decision, it does come with a bit of sadness of things that I was hoping to experience through pregnancy– the feeling of a baby inside of me, knowing that there’s a little one out of there that shares my genes, pregnant woman attention (sue me if that’s superficial), having a baby shower like I would want, just the entire experience.

But I also am coming to grips with the fact that it simply may not be in the cards for me. Or as A said today when I told her how I was feeling “You can’t get blood from a turnip”

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One comment on “bittersweet

  1. Enigma
    July 18, 2011

    My heart goes out to you. I am not sure that it is guilty or selfish at all. I like to view a couple as a team.. When one is unable, the other is to do what they are capable of. I am going to keep you in my thoughts and prayers that this is successful for you.

    Stay blessed.

    Like

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This entry was posted on July 16, 2011 by in Uncategorized and tagged .

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