love, life, and the pursuit of liberation
I’m still alive!
I’d like to pretend that I’m so busy with work that I don’t have time to write. But that’s not completely true.
The truth is that I’m in flux. And that’s a good thing.
After 2 months of so much drama and problems IVF/Donor IVF (remember A as my egg donor), we finally decided to cancel the cycle that never got a chance to start. I AM SO RELIEVED.
And cancel COBRA. AGAIN, SO RELIEVED.
And stop IVF for me. PRAISES!
The truth is that I’ve more or less accepted that those aren’t working for me. And I’m tired of throwing away money, time, effort, and emotions for the same result– scrambled eggs. I am SO over all of that and have no more “but what if we tried…” left in me. These months of not trying have been blissful.. no injections to take, no two week wait. Just being on BC in hopes of starting a donor cycle. I am now having my first period since the last m/c and it’s kind of interesting.
Oh but I have a refrigerator full of meds if anyone’s interested..
Now I’m not completely, completely out (just 90%). My regular non-cobra insurance will pay for IUIs, so perhaps at some point I’ll try those with metformin. And then A will try herself next summer.
These are all just maybes as we know NOTHING is ever at seems in the ttc world.
Sidenote: I’m contemplating whether or not I’m going to continue this blog. I’ve been here for almost FOUR YEARS (damn, the journey has been that long). Although this blog hasn’t always been about ttc, I’m itching for a fresh start. At the same time, all of this is also part of who I am. No decisions just yet. Just thinking.