love, life, and the pursuit of liberation
CD may have forgotten that almost a month ago she gave me a writing challenge. (Okay, truth moment- I’m sure she remembered but was patiently waiting for me to be ready.) She knew I was spiraling in depression that manifested into writer’s block. She supplied me a list of lists (a woman after my own heart) and challenged me to write SOMETHING.
I’m in a much better place (meds, exercise + love), but haven’t quite figured out how to carve out time for both writing AND exercise (Insanity Day 8, go me!). So today’s authentic moment is in the form of a list.
1. My wedding ring. For me it symbolizes the epitome of commitment and hard work. It symbolizes hope, love, and trust. It symbolizes the growth that my wife and I have made over these 5+ years.
2. My car. I’m proud of it because it is a car that I truly, truly wanted, and I completely manifested it down to the price. I’m proud of it because it reflects good credit and a thoughtful decision. I’m proud of it because it has a Bose stereo system.
3. My degrees. While they may not keep me warm at night, they symbolize endurance and commitment. They both symbolize me reaching for my highest dreams and a complete leap of faith because I didn’t think I was “good enough” to get into those schools (they are both an undergrad and a graduate college of the same institution). They symbolize two times in my life where I packed up everything I owned, drove across country, and never looked back. They symbolize returning to the place I’ve called home for almost 17 years.
4. My sneakers. Right now I am proud that I’m putting them to use after five years of dormancy. Sure, they may have been dusted off a time or two each year, but this past week they have seen the work out of their lives. I have successfully made it to week 2 of Insanity. I’m insane for doing this.
5. My journals. I have a collection of journals from the past 21 years. These journals symbolize the bravery it takes to give voice to one’s deepest fears, joys, passions, lusts, and truths. They also symbolize the seeds of my writing talents.