love, life, and the pursuit of liberation
The fun thing about this blog is that it’s allowed me to connect with so many people, both those who were in my life before I started writing and afterwards. Frequently, I get notes, emails, and text messages from readers sharing how something I’ve written has made them think. Here’s a recent email from my friend Lydia about how being in tune with yourself opens up possibilities that you had previously written off or “ruled” away.
Interested in being a guest blogger? Email me at email@example.com with a note or piece about your thoughts authenticity, healing, spirituality, gratitude, change, and loving yourself. If you have any other ideas not mentioned but you think will align with my blog, I’d love to hear those as well.
Now that that’s squared away, without further ado, here’s Lydia’s email about love and beyond
Subject: thoughts of love and I love you and beyond
Who came up with ‘rules’? My own personal belief is an ugly WHATEVER?! Too many of us are keeping ourselves single because of ‘rules’. Rules are not going to apply to everyone at the same time and for each situation. It’s a “don’t do this”…”don’t do that”…”wait to see who does what first.” Girl, in my sweet brown voice, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”
I feel that in this day in age, we need to first be in tune with our own selves and what we like, dislike, what we want, don’t want. Get rid of the extra voices (the negative friends/family, the ones that feel that everything in life is unfair, the jaded mindsets) and be in tune with you. When are you centered, grounded in who you are, you can hear your intuition when it speaks. It’s always there. Then, you are able to move forward in life (work, family, LOVE and relationships).
So, with that being said, that is why I didn’t overreact when the man I’m speaking to first said I love you. Early on, he sent me an email stating a few ‘feelings’ (Not I love you) and I felt my guard coming up. But then I had to question myself (especially after Aleia told me about the book, Attached) and I started thinking about the way we over-think love.
If this man is in tune with who he is, who I am to question his feelings? He knows who he is and what he wants. He has been very clear about that. The only thing I have seen “change’ was going from looking to settle down in 5 yrs when he retires to not putting that on hold if he feels that he has found the right person.
In meeting him, I am learning to not question everything or assume something is up because of something being said that I may not be accustomed to hearing. When is the proper time to say “I love you?” 2 weeks? 3 months? 6 months? If someone says it at the 3-week mark, does it make a person reject it because it didn’t happen at a later time? I have a dear friend that I worked with in Atlanta that met her husband at a club, and they got married 2 weeks later. They had twin sons (grown now) and the husband died last year. Of course, people thought they were crazy to go from meeting to marrying that person 2 weeks later.
There is an old couple at my parents’ church that got married many moons ago. The husband said his brother was a teacher and he had just come home from the war and went to the school to see his brother. He walked past the classroom of the woman who would be his wife, and said he came back to the door and the first thing he said to her was “I’m going to marry you”. Now of course, these stories are exceptions and not the rule, but they happen.
I feel many more would happen if we would stop over thinking love and coming up with rules that don’t necessarily apply. When you are in tune with you first, the world is OPEN and ready and so are you.