love, life, and the pursuit of liberation
When you look at the truth, you have to look at the whole truth. One thing that my life transition is allowing me to do is to look at the truth of who I am, not just the pretty but not the so great.
As I’ve been processing my impending divorce (I’m sure you’ve been able to read between the lines), I’ve been thinking about the difference personality differences and character flaws. To me, personality differences are those attributes that aren’t inherently harmful or unhealthy; they are simply quirks that may or may not be aligned with another’s core values. On the other hand, character flaws are those parts of you that may cause to your self and others. For example, picking your nose or leaving the seat up may be a personality difference. Passive aggressiveness and self-martyrdom are character flaws.
It’s so easy to point out everyone else’s flaws when deciding whether to forgive them. I’m realizing that part of forgiveness means admitting my own flaws and then maybe making that next step to be grateful for the lessons they bring instead of harboring shame and resentment.
Maybe, just maybe, if I could learn to forgive myself, I could learn to forgive others.