love, life, and the pursuit of liberation
It’s been a long ride these past few months, but the time has come for me to say goodbye.
Goodbye to being 34 years old, that is. See, tomorrow is my birthday, and I’ve spent the past few hours thinking about what kind of year it’s been.
I kicked off my 34th year with an amazing birthday party with so many loved ones present. Because hindsight is 20/20, I didn’t know that the party wasn’t a kick-off as much as it was a farewell to the life I knew. Not too long after that night, the silence and fears became deafening. All those feelings, insecurities, and worries that I fought tooth and nail to suppress came to me in audible tones and earth-shaking ways that I could no longer ignore. Instead, these past twelve months served as a giant microscope forcing me to examine each minutia of who I am and hold it up to the light to see if it was real.
Remember that game Operation (I’m dating myself) when you had to carefully and cleverly retrieve the body part lest the board shock you? Yeah, that was my life this past year. I’ve gingerly isolated and extracted the cancerous parts of me. And I’m burying them right now.
So after all this grave digging, I’m sore and in the full throes of healing. It’s a good kind of discomfort though, full of wonder and discovery. I’m so very humbled by what this 35th year will bring.
And yes this means I’m back to writing on a regular basis. Cue Beyonce’s Grown Woman.