love, life, and the pursuit of liberation
Touch is my second most important love language. I usually write about it through my poetry, like here and here. Something about human physical contact is like communion of souls, so much so that sexual connection is tantamount to a sacrament. I suspect that people who don’t like to be touched are secretly craving it beneath their psyche. Others have abused or neglected this basic human need to the point that there are huge segments of the world that think they don’t need touch.
Even science substantiates this need. Back in the day before ethical laws*, researchers took two groups of babies. One group, they held and coddled while attending to their basic needs of food and shelter. The other group received food and shelter only, no touch. Guess what happened? Half of the second group of babies DIED.
Too often though, we aren’t touched. We may not have gotten it from our parents, maybe our partners aren’t attentive to our needs for many reasons, maybe we don’t even have a partner (or two or three J). Regardless the reason or even if you *do* have someone in your life, we have to practice self-care to truly appreciate our own beauty and presence. We need to love our bodies and thank it for what it does for us.
Today, this week, sometime soon, take a moment to touch yourself (take that HOWEVER you want). Get some nicely fragranced lotion and massage your body with awareness and love. Get the elbows and take your time with your thighs. Take your time and touch your skin with the same care of a lover, the same attention of a mother with her newborn, the same reverence that you would take with your great-grandmother. Linger at the difficult areas and impart loving words. As you do this, you are building muscle memory about how worthy you are and you are practicing mindfulness.
*There’s some debate about whether this experiment really happened. Regardless, the larger truth exists.